‘Happier’ With Dave Flynn

‘Happier’

Your Purpose Is You

We recorded a podcast last week with a Best Selling author and astrologer Kirsty Gallagher, and her words have been resonating with me ever since. She said a line that I found profoundly impactful: “Your purpose is you.” This simple yet powerful statement has been circling in my mind, serving as a great reminder whenever I catch myself falling into old patterns of feeling the urge to be productive or busy.

The concept of “purpose” can often feel lofty, nebulous and elusive, the source of many an existential crisis. Typically we look outward to find purpose through concrete achievements & goals, helping others, or fulfilling societal expectations, such as teaching children or tending to the needs of our community. But what if the key to unlocking our deepest sense of purpose lies not in the world beyond us, but within the very core of our authentic selves?

I’ve come to believe that our purpose is indeed rooted in becoming more fully who we are – embracing our true values, interests, and passions as the foundation for finding meaning and direction in our lives. It’s not about forcing ourselves into someone else’s or society’s mould, but about the courageous journey of unravelling the hidden layers within.

The more you become authentically yourself the more you give others permission to do the same. 

In our modern world of monoculture food and often homogenous values, where globalisation and Western consumerism are spreading across the globe – finding and expressing your true self is an act of rebellion and profound empowerment. What I love most about the idea of “your purpose being you” is that at its root lies the courageous journey toward your authentic self, your truest essence independent of external expectations.

You are fundamentally unique, you are 1 in 9 billion. Even me, as an identical mirror twin with 99.99% the same DNA as my twin Steve, I am completely unique too, as is Steve. The more we are brave enough to step into our individual light and shed the pervasive constricting values of Western capitalism, the more we in turn inspire others to follow suit. Just as a cold or flu is contagious, authenticity too has a viral quality – it inspires and spreads. We all want to feel free to be ourselves and sometimes seeing others being unapologetically themselves gives us permission in a sense. As Gandhi so eloquently stated, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” The more we embrace our authentic selves, the more we give others permission to do the same.

In a world that constantly pressures us to conform, to fit neatly into prescribed boxes, the act of self-discovery and self-expression becomes a quiet rebellion. When we have the courage to show up as our unvarnished selves, we create a ripple effect that can transform not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. This is the true power of purpose – not found in external accomplishments, but in the beautiful, messy, ever-evolving journey of becoming who we were born to be.

It starts with acceptance and love

This week, I caught myself acting from that habitual, automatic urge and habit to be productive – an impulse that is so often rooted in fear. In that moment, the line “your purpose is you” spontaneously popped into my head, serving as a potent reminder. Instead of mindlessly forging ahead, I noticed a shift; self-compassion, self-acceptance, and even self-love began to arise within me. It felt like I was momentarily breaking free from entrenched patterns, no longer losing myself in the frenetic need to stay busy for busy’s sake, to be a productive cog in the machine. Productivity and busy-ness is a habit I’ve sometimes excelled at, equating my worth with the outward markers of productivity and achievement. 

But in that pivotal moment, I was able to pause, reconnect with my deeper self, and make a different choice. It was a small yet profound act of rebellion against the relentless pressure to conform to society’s narrow definitions of success. By choosing presence over productivity, I re-aligned with my deeper sense of who I am and what is important to me in the moment. This experience has reinforced my belief that our truest calling lies not in external accomplishments, but in the courageous journey of becoming more fully ourselves.

At the heart of living a purposeful life is the ability to fully accept and love yourself (last week’s column on ‘the wisdom of insecurity’ touched on this!). It is so easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of external validation, comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards and judging our worth based on others’ perceptions (previous Happier Column on Self worth). However, your unique purpose can only be found when you make peace with who you are at your core, flaws and all. Self-acceptance is not about complacency or becoming passive, but about creating a solid foundation from which you can grow and flourish. When you cultivate genuine self-love, you tap into your deepest desires, values, and unique gifts – the very building blocks of a fulfilling purpose.

Redefining success on your own terms

As identical twins and business owners, Steve and I are all too familiar with society’s often narrow definition of success, wealth, status and external achievements being touted as the hallmark of a life well lived. However, what if you took a step back and redefined success based on your deeper values and what really gives you meaning? 

What if you peel back the layers of societies ‘success programming’ and instead start to determine what really floats your boat, what makes your spirit soar and awakens a child-like wonder in you? Your purpose being you means that it needs to be a genuine expression of who you are. In my thirties I very much bought into the success equals social status paradigm and reflecting back I was the personification of success equals external achievements and impressing others. Now that I am a decade older, 44, I have largely shed this belief and find true success is quality time with my family and friends and spending time on the farm in nature. I still see the old habitual programming of seeking external validation arise but I find I am less susceptible to it than before! Progress over perfection!

The most meaningful purpose is found not in external achievements, but in the courageous act of becoming more fully yourself. May you have the courage to shed societal expectations and tap into the wellspring of purpose that lies within. Your unique gifts and authentic expression are a profound gift to the world. The more you do this, the more you inspire others to do the same. Together lets create a ripple of authenticity!

Thank you for taking the time to read this week’s Happier column. I hope the idea of “your purpose is you” has resonated and inspired you to embrace a more authentic and purposeful path. I have written many previous Happier columns exploring topics like self-worth, feeling enough, and living with greater intention which you can read here

All the best

Dave

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