Back in 2004, we opened a little veg shop in our home town of Greystones with a dream of starting a plant-powered revolution! For 20 years, The Happy Pear has been all about spreading health, happiness, and seriously delicious food. With over 15 million products sold, 6 bestselling cookbooks, and 15+ online courses under our belts, we’ve learnt so much on our journey!
Now, we’re hitting the road with our new book, The Happy Pear 20: Recipes and Learnings From the First 20 Years. Get ready for a fun-filled tour packed with stories from their wild journey, tips for better living, and cooking demos (at select spots!). Come join us as we dish out wisdom, laughs, and plenty of plant-based goodness!
7th November 2024 The Lark Balbriggan IRL Click here to buy tickets
6th December 2024 The Pavilion Dun Laoghaire IRL Click here to buy tickets
23rd January 2025 Dareshack Studio Vintry Building Bristol UK Click here to buy tickets
24th January 2025 London Irish Centre Camden Square UK – Click here to buy tickets
25th January 2025 Irish World Heritage Centre Manchester UK Click here to buy tickets
26th January 2025 Oran Mor Glasgow UK Click here to buy tickets
29th January 2025 Cork Opera House IRL Click here to buy tickets
6th February 2025 National Opera House Wexford Click here to buy tickets
9th February 2025 Town Hall Theatre Galway Click here to buy tickets
26th February 2025 Waterfront Studio Belfast Click here to buy tickets
In this enlightening episode, we are thrilled to welcome Gaia Ferreira, an internationally renowned speaker, life coach, and author, celebrated for her profound work in personal development, wellness, and mindfulness. With over two decades of experience, Gaia has guided countless individuals on their journey towards a more fulfilled and balanced life. Her approach integrates a deep understanding of human behaviour with practical strategies that empower people to unlock their full potential.
Gaia’s expertise spans a wide range of topics, from mastering mindfulness to cultivating resilience, and her teachings have inspired a global audience to embrace a more conscious and intentional way of living. In this conversation, Gaia shares her invaluable insights and practical advice, making this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking personal growth and a deeper connection with themselves.
Main Topics Covered:
Join us for an inspiring and transformative conversation that will leave you equipped with the tools and insights to elevate your life. Whether you’re at the beginning of your personal development journey or looking to deepen your practice, this episode with Gaia Ferreira offers wisdom and guidance for all stages of the path.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
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Last week I wrote about the idea of becoming more embodied, of moving more from our heads back into our multisensory bodies. This week I wanted to get really practical and give you some ideas of some ways to become more embodied.
5,4,3,2,1 sensory game
A lovely exercise I often do when walking down the street is the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory awareness game. This simple but powerful practice helps shift my attention away from the constant chatter of the mind and back into the rich, multisensory experience of the present moment.
It works like this: First, I take a moment to slowly look around and notice 5 things that I can see. Then I focus on 4 things that I can hear, these might be a car passing by, a bird singing in the distance, a cat meowing, someone speaking across the street. Next is to become aware of 3 things that I can feel via touch, the clothes I am wearing, the feel of my feet in my shoes, are there any subtle pains in my body.
Moving on I tune into 2 things I can smell, it can be a passerby’s perfume, the scent of a flower, a lovely dinner smell wafting out of a neighbours house. Our sense of smell is deeply connected to the limbic system, the emotional control centre of the brain, so engaging it can evoke a sense of grounding and calm. Finally, I try to identify 1 distinct taste in my mouth, even if it’s just the subtle flavour of my own saliva, this is often the hardest!
This simple 5-4-3-2-1 practice is a lovely way to interrupt the constant flow of our thoughts and tune into the immediacy of our physical experience. By systematically engaging each of our senses, we can cultivate a greater sense of presence, connection, and embodied awareness in our daily lives.
Breath
I remember Steve & I went interrailing across Europe one summer when we were in College. We were sitting in a train carriage travelling across the Czech Republic and quite a mystical guy entered our carriage. He had a vibe going on, he was really present and there was something very alluring about him. I remember he was Swiss and he told us about a 10 day silent meditation retreat he had been on called Vipassana that had transformed his life for the better..
At the time, Steve and I were the quintessential searchers, searching for more meaning so naturally we both felt drawn toward this! A year later we were volunteering in one of these Vipassana meditation centres in Massachusetts for a number of months and we had both sat one of these 10 day silent meditation retreats. The crux of the practice from my understanding was that the breath is the most immediate access point that we have to becoming present and aware of the vast world of sensations that you feel on your body at any moment. While you are reading this, right now, become more aware of your breath, are you breathing shallow or deep? Are your breaths long or short? As you tune into your breath, very often you can become aware of the subtle flow of energy around your body.
I believe the breath provides the easiest way to get ‘out of your head’ and ‘back in your body’. I wrote a previous happier Column on Breath and the opportunity tuning into our breath more can have. This primal life force flowing through us becomes a gateway, reminding us that we are not just disembodied minds, but fully embodied, sensing creatures. Meditation and mindfulness are two practices that typically use the breath as a touchstone to becoming very aware of all the sensations that are happening in your body here and now. That is why meditation, mindfulness and any form of breathwork can be incredible tools at reconnecting you and bringing you back into your body.
Dance
My daughters have regularly referred to my dance skills as deeply embarrassing! Both Steve and me in our heads are fantastic dancers but in reality we are usually perceived as wild lunatics! Our brother Mark is a DJ, back when we were in our 20’s Mark used to DJ in nightclubs in Dublin and we used to love to go support him. We would take our veg van and head in for the night, sleep in the van after and then go straight to Dublin fruit market at 5am! I remember so distinctly, Steve and I were such enthusiastic dancers that we would get a tap on the shoulder consistently and a young guy would say to us ‘mate, do you have any pills’?!! We didn’t drink or take any pills, we just loved the feeling of letting loose on the dance floor and literally losing ourselves to the music.
Dancing is one of the most ancient and universal forms of human expression, with a rich history that stretches back thousands of years across cultures. From ritual dances performed to honour the divine, to joyful celebrations marking rites of passage, to communal festivities that bring people together – dance has long been inextricably woven into the fabric of the human experience. Psychologically, the act of moving our bodies in sync with music has been shown to stimulate the release of endorphins, foster a sense of connection, and induce altered states of consciousness – all of which can contribute to a profound experience of embodied freedom and transcendence.
As a 44-year-old man who grew up primarily focused on sports, dancing did not come as naturally to me. However, after giving up alcohol at age 21, I found myself turning to dance as a way to stay energised and engaged at parties, rather than simply sitting on the sidelines. Over the years, I’ve come to deeply appreciate dance as one of the greatest joys that exist. When you lose yourself to the rhythm and flow of the music, the sense of freedom and unity that arises is truly second to none. Whereas many adults only dance a few times a year, such as at weddings after copious amounts of alcohol, I believe dance is an essential human experience that can help us fully engage our bodies and spirits, lifting us up in a deeply embodied way.
Growing some of your food
Last week I started sprouting again. I am growing some of the most nutritious food possible in a large jar on my kitchen counter! A friend, Doug Evans, who wrote the book ‘how to grow sprouts’ visited us last week to be a guest on our podcast. He inspired me to get back sprouting. There is something deeply connecting about growing our own food, we appreciate it more, do not waste it, and get to pour our love and energy into it over a period of time. I believe growing food gives us a wonderful opportunity to become more embodied.
These activities all have the power to reconnect us with the incredible sensory experience of being fully present in our physical bodies.There are literally millions of things you can do to become more embodied from walking, running, cycling, yoga, going to the gym etc that all bring you back in more awareness of the incredible multi sensory body that you inhabit.
When we live more embodied, we cultivate a deeper sense of presence, aliveness, and connection. We become less caught up in the incessant chatter of the mind and more attuned to the rich tapestry of sights, sounds, textures, and sensations that are always available to us. This embodied awareness can help reduce stress, enhance our appreciation for the world around us, and infuse our lives with a greater sense of wonder and vitality.
My main point here is that when you are ‘living more in your body’ you are more likely to be present, aware in the here and now and less likely to be caught up with anxieties etc. What do you think? What do you do to become more embodied? Are there specific things you do to bring you back in your body?
As always, thanks again for taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it you can find my other Happier Articles here.
Have a lovely week, Dave x
As I sit on the padded floor of my 11-month-old daughter Fia’s room, I marvel at her embodied state of being. She is fully engaged with her primitive, mammal mode of exploring movement and discovering what her body can do. Fundamentally embodied, Fia is sensing, feeling, and interacting with her environment through the innate wisdom of her physical form. She is fully engaged and present in her body, marveling and curious.
This column is building on last weeks’ ‘Happier’ Column titled The Comfort Trap where I laid out the idea that our excess of modern comforts could likely be contributing to less fulfilment, joy and happiness. With the massive rise of humans sitting for a prolonged amount of time, and most work nowadays being office based, I sometimes think that – as a society – we are starting to see our bodies as simply a vehicle to transport our brains around. Today’s column is about the idea of becoming more physically embodied as a way to feel a little happier. In essence, to move more from our heads to our hearts and bodies, to become more ‘embodied’ and maybe a little bit more whole.
Dis-embodied?
The other day, I was walking down the street and counted 10 people who I walked past who had their head buried in their phone nearly walking into me or a lamp post! I have definitely been guilty of doing that too, so I am definitely not judging. It just made me even more aware of how modern life with all its alluring screens and fancy technologies is drawing us away from our physical form and the wonder of the world around us.
I can’t help but believe that reclaiming this sense of physical embodiment could be a key to greater happiness and fulfilment. I believe that when we are fully present in our senses, attuned to the rhythms and needs of the body, we are more likely to experience the richness of the here and now. All great sages say the same thing: that life happens here and now, and I believe that fully inhabiting our body and engaging with our senses is key to this.
A few years ago, Steve and I went to an event in London. It was in an industrial estate in North London in a private show kitchen and it blew us away. It was a sensorial dinner. The first course we were given nose pegs and invited to put them on. The chef explained that our sense of smell (olfactory glands) is directly linked to our taste. This is why wine tasters slurp their wine, to get more air passing across the surface of the wine so they can ‘taste’ the wine via their nose!
But back to the story: the first course we put on these nose pegs and were given a black jelly and asked to guess what we could taste. Neither of us could taste a thing. When we removed the nose peg and tasted again, our taste receptors were flooded with an explosive taste of red berries, the black colour was simply to mislead us. The evening progressed with another course where we had to wear headphones with certain music that influenced the taste and we had to rub our hand on a rough surface while eating our dessert to show how touching a rough surface makes us experience more of a crunch like taste
The sensorial dinner experience really emphasised the power of fully engaging our senses to be present in our bodies and delight in the richness of the moment. It made us acutely aware that modern life, for all its wonders, often pulls us away from this embodied state of awareness, keeping us trapped in the distracted, busy hum of daily routines. By reconnecting to the wisdom of our physical form, we can cultivate a greater sense of aliveness, presence, and connection – key ingredients for a happier human experience.
Is the body just a means to transport our brain around?
At the moment, a part of me is slightly worried that much of modern life relegates the body to a mere vehicle for the brain. Yet the body and brain are inextricably linked, connected by the same nervous system. By becoming more embodied, life has the potential to become richer in the true sense of the word – not just materially, but in our ability to connect more deeply, feel more intensely, and harmonise with ourselves, one another, and the natural world. Moving beyond seeing the body as secondary to the mind opens up profound possibilities for self-awareness, belonging, and joy.
Wrapping it up
I invite you to reflect on your own relationship to your body. What practices or experiences help you to feel more grounded, alive, and present in your physical form? Whether it’s mindful breathing, dancing, hiking in nature, or simply making a concerted effort to unplug from screens, I believe that by doing so we are nurturing an essential aspect of the human experience.
For in doing so, we just may unlock the keys to a richer, more joyful existence. I’m curious to hear your thoughts – what helps you to feel more embodied?
Next week I plan to write about my favourite ways to become more embodied! Thank you so much as always for reading, I greatly appreciate it.
Have a lovely weekend.
Dave x
This week we are joined by the incredible Kirsty Gallagher, a renowned astrologer and author of the Sunday Times bestseller, The Goddess Path. With over 20 years of experience in astrology, meditation, and spirituality, Kirsty has empowered countless individuals to reconnect with their inner selves and navigate life’s challenges with grace and wisdom. Her unique approach combines ancient wisdom with modern insights, making her a beloved guide in the world of self-discovery and personal growth.
Main Topics Covered:
Join us for a captivating conversation with Kirsty Gallagher that will leave you feeling inspired and equipped with new tools to enhance your spiritual journey. Whether you’re a seasoned astrology enthusiast or a curious beginner, this episode is packed with wisdom and practical guidance that you won’t want to miss.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
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VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
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Produced by Sean Cahill & Sara Fawsitt
Earlier this year we were in Boston for work and were lucky enough to be taken to see a Boston Celtic’s Basketball game. It was so spectacular yet completely overwhelming! Coming from Greystones, a small town in Ireland right by the sea, this massive indoor circus like stadium was a jarring contrast. The constant noise, bright lights, massive screens and relentless stimulation of the packed crowd and non-stop parade of action on the court felt almost alien to my ancient, evolutionary self. I felt very much like a country mouse in the big city!
Don’t get me wrong, it was an incredible experience to witness. But it also felt like the apex of modern culture – a captivating, high-energy spectacle that made me think of ancient Roman gladiators in the Colosseum. The stark juxtaposition between my nature-immersed life in Ireland and this urban sports cathedral left me feeling slightly out of place, as if my primal instincts were at odds with the frenetic pace and overstimulation of this modern entertainment circus extravaganza!
As I sit here on a comfortable couch with a comfortable blanket draped around me to keep me warm while sipping on a delicious drink of warm cacao, I can’t help but feel a nagging feeling of unease. My ancient primal self feels trapped in the comforts of modern life – heating, soft fabrics, lighting, excess of processed foods. A deep seated primal part of me, yearns to be more embodied, to be more connected to the natural landscape, outside in the natural world with all my senses fully engaged.
I am fascinated by the contradictions of modern life. On one hand, the technological advancements and innovation across every sector would have been impossible to even contemplate 100 years ago. However on the other hand we live in an environment of unprecedented ease and comfort which goes against our evolutionary hardwiring. As I dig deeper into this topic, I can’t help but feel that our cushy, sedentary lifestyle packed with time saving devices, isolated living and constant convenience is profoundly at odds with the lives of our ancestors and the evolutionary programming hardwired into our genes.
Humans have supposedly been around for about 300,000 years. 99%+ of this time life was uncomfortable and tough. Our ancestors spent their days roaming the natural environment in search of food, exerting themselves physically all day long and relying on their senses to survive. In Spite of the fact that life was hard, there were some silver linings, they lived in tight tribes, ate natural food from the environment and lived harmoniously with the natural habitat in a very physical embodied way.
My daily sunrise swim in the cold Irish Sea is a way that I lean into this ‘comfort trap’. Even though I have done this daily for nearly a decade, 98% of the time I don’t feel like getting into that cold sea. It’s uncomfortable but I do so as I know that on the other side of this discomfort is a place of joy and gratitude, a much better version of myself. As a dear friend Mark says ‘I don’t always love the person getting in, but I always love the person getting out’.
Over the last three years Stephen and myself and some friends have embarked on an annual physical challenge that requires training and a journey of sorts to get ourselves physically fit to try to achieve our challenge. Three years ago we ran the Causeway Coastal Path up in Northern Ireland which was 52 km, this was the first time we had run that distance. Last year we took up swimming, having never swam a km before. We trained all summer long and swam 7 km from the nearby town of Bray to Greystones.
This year we are training to run the Wicklow Way, a former pilgrim path across the Wicklow mountains where we live from Dublin to Carlow. We plan to do it over two days in September, all 127 km of it, so just over 60km per day. These adventures are a way for us to reconnect and lean into discomfort. They are very much about the journey, much of the training I don’t feel like doing but the camaraderie and social accountability make me stick with the course. These physical challenges are a way that help push us out of our comfort zone and remind us of the importance of the journey and training with friends, learning more about the land that we live in and hopefully completing a fun physical challenge.
We are all products of the natural world, not evolved for the sterile, sedentary confines of modern life and concrete jungles. Perhaps it’s time we start to reclaim our birthright as embodied, earth-connected beings, and find a way to balance the comforts of the present with the wisdom of the past.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you see a way to reconcile our primal selves with the realities of 21st century living?
The key to thriving in the 21st century may lie in understanding your primal self. Tune in next week to explore this powerful idea further.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I find this topic really interesting and am thinking of writing more on it. If you agree, please let me know in the comments below! Thanks a mill.
Dave x
I remember so many times in Spring of 2020, during covid lockdowns, standing barefoot on the stony shoreline of the cove in Greystones, waves lapping at my feet, as I watched the sun rise above the horizon against a pink sky. The air was thick with the scent of salt and damp earth, and I could feel the potential in the day rising and the pulse of the tides resonating within my own body. In that moment, the boundaries between myself and the natural world seemed to dissolve, leaving me in a state of deep connection and awe.
We are Nature
At our core, you and I are not separate from nature – we are nature. The truth is, the natural world is not something “out there” that we observe and admire. It is something that flows through us, courses through our veins, and makes up the very fabric of our being.
Consider that one of the most complex ecosystems on the planet resides within your own gut – it hosts billions of microbes, a diverse community that is in constant dialogue with the rest of your body. This inner wilderness is just as much a part of the natural world as the forests, oceans, and skies outside your doors. The cycles and rhythms that sustain all life on this planet also animate the life within us, ebbing and flowing in perfect harmony and synchronicity.
Yet in our modern culture, I find that we’ve grown increasingly disconnected from this fundamental truth. We might have fallen into the trap of seeing ourselves as separate from nature, as somehow superior to or independent from the natural order. This has fueled a mindset of scarcity, where we grasp and hoard rather than allowing the regenerative abundance of the natural world to nourish us.
By reconnecting to the nature that ‘lives inside each of us’, we can begin to dissolve this artificial separation. We can attune ourselves to the cyclical patterns of growth and rest, expansion and contraction, that animate all living things. In doing so, we may find that our own lives become a seamless extension of the natural world – no longer at odds with it, but deeply connected as an integral, harmonious part of the great web of life.
This is the invitation before us: to remember that we are nature, and that the abundance and balance we seek is not something foreign, but a profound truth written into the very fabric of our being. When we live in alignment with this reality, we unlock a wellspring of vitality, creativity, and connection that can nourish us and the earth we call home.
Retuning to Nature’s Rhythms: What We Can Learn from the Cycles of the Natural World
In our fast-paced, technology-driven, concrete based modern life, it’s easy to lose touch with the natural rhythms that have guided life on this planet for millennia. Yet, by reconnecting with these cycles, we may unlock greater balance and harmony.
In nature, we witness the universal dance of day and night, the waxing and waning of the moon, the changing of the seasons. It is easy to forget these natural cycles yet they offer the opportunity to become profound teachers, if we choose to attune ourselves to their wisdom.
Consider the cycle of the seasons. In spring, the earth awakens with new growth and vitality. Summer brings a flourishing abundance, followed by autumn’s shedding and winter’s necessary rest and regeneration. This annual cycle mirrors the ebbs and flows we experience within ourselves.
As an identical twin who has always been driven and goal-oriented, learning to embrace the natural cycles of rest and renewal has been an ongoing practice for me. There have been countless times when I have pushed myself relentlessly, ignoring my body’s signals for a needed break. It has only been as I’ve gotten older and become more aware that maybe my deep seated need for productivity is likely rooted in an insecurity that I better understand the importance of allowing myself to ebb and flow like the tides. Just like night proceeds day, I need to prioritise rest, reflection in order to renew after demanding periods of focus and productivity.
By endeavouring to live more harmoniously with the cycles of nature, you will likely find that your stress levels decline, your creativity flourishes, and your sense of connection to the natural world, and to yourself, deepens. By returning to nature’s rhythms, we can rediscover the inherent balance and connection that has sustained life on this planet for Eons.
Abundance vs Scarcity
When I look to the natural world, I am met with an abundance that stands in stark contrast to the scarcity mindset so prevalent in modern human culture. The cycles of nature exemplify a generative, replenishing flow, rather than the linear, finite capitalist systems we have all grown accustomed to.
As I observe the seasons change each year, I’m struck by nature’s effortless cycles of renewal, of expansion and contraction. In spring, I witness the world springing forth with vibrant new life, blossoming into the lush abundance of summer. Even as autumn brings a shedding of leaves, the trees do not cling desperately to their resources. Instead, they gracefully let go, trusting in the replenishing rest of winter to revitalise them for the next cycle of growth. This pattern of expansion and contraction, of giving and receiving, sustains the natural world in a state of perpetual regeneration that I find profoundly inspiring.
In comparison, in our human society and culture we often operate from a mindset of scarcity, hoarding resources and guarding against perceived lack. Most of us have been conditioned to see the world as a zero-sum game, where one person’s gain must come at the expense of another. This mindset fuels competition, anxiety, much stress and the persistent illusion that there is never enough. Yet the abundance of nature reminds me that this is a construction of our own making, a man made creation, the universe from what I can see operates based on principles of complete abundance generously sharing resources without a sign of withholding.
I am inspired by the rhythms and generosity of the natural world. I believe there is much to learn about shedding the deep rooted scarcity mindset of modern culture. Leaning more open heartedly into giving and receiving and learning to not cling on to our money and materials so tightly. This likely sounds very idealistic but I believe we can learn to trust in the replenishing cycles that sustain all life, and find freedom in the knowledge that abundance is our natural birthright, not scarcity. In doing so, we open ourselves up to a more harmonious, fulfilling way of living with a much deeper connection to the earth and the natural world and creatures upon it. .
The natural world has touched me in so many ways, it connects me to myself in so many profound ways on a daily basis whether via my morning sunrise sea swims, running through the woods or working on our regenerative farm and learning more about how we can grow tasty nutritious food in the most harmonious way with nature.
Thanks for reading this weeks ‘Happier’ column. I really appreciate it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always thanks to those who have left comments on previous articles, I really appreciate your input.
Lots of love,
Dave x
In this week’s episode we sit down once again with Nicole Masters, an independent agroecologist, systems thinker, author, and educator. Nicole is renowned for her extensive work in soil health and regenerative agriculture, empowering farmers and communities worldwide to adopt sustainable practices that benefit both the environment and their livelihoods. With over two decades of experience, Nicole is a sought-after consultant and the author of the acclaimed book, For the Love of Soil: Strategies to Regenerate Our Food Production Systems.
We were delighted to have Nicole join us in person for this second episode, where we had the opportunity to take her around our own no-dig regenerative farm. This unique setting allowed us to delve deeper into the practical aspects of regenerative farming and the principles of soil health that Nicole advocates.
Main Topics Covered:
Nicole Masters’ expertise and passion for soil and sustainability shine through in this episode, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the future of food production and environmental stewardship. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how we can all contribute to a healthier planet through thoughtful and regenerative approaches to agriculture.
Lots of love,
Dave & Steve
SPONSORS & DISCOUNT CODES:
Namawell Juicers are AMAZING! They have absolutely revolutionised the juicing game. We have an exclusive 10%
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR10
LINK: https://namawell.com/collections/juicers/products/nama-j2-cold-press-juicer?ref=thehappypear
VIVOBAREFOOT: Vivobarefoot Footwear have given our listeners an exclusive 20% discount and if you buy now you also get free access to their incredible course showcasing some of the biggest names in the health and wellness space.
Enter the code HAPPYPEAR20
LINK: https://www.vivobarefoot.com/uk/the-happy-pear
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We’re so excited to announce that our new book “The Happy Pear 20: Recipes and Learnings From the First 20 Years” will be coming out this October!
This book really does mean so much to us. Celebrating some of the most popular recipes we’ve created in the last 2 decades!
We talk about the big life lessons we’ve learned on our journey from our successes and failures, and all of the amazing people we met along the way.
With recipes from the most requested dishes in our cafe, our most viral recipes on social media, as well as what we love to cook up at home, we can’t wait to share our favourite dishes with you!
Click on your favourite seller above to order from their site.
We recorded a podcast last week with a Best Selling author and astrologer Kirsty Gallagher, and her words have been resonating with me ever since. She said a line that I found profoundly impactful: “Your purpose is you.” This simple yet powerful statement has been circling in my mind, serving as a great reminder whenever I catch myself falling into old patterns of feeling the urge to be productive or busy.
The concept of “purpose” can often feel lofty, nebulous and elusive, the source of many an existential crisis. Typically we look outward to find purpose through concrete achievements & goals, helping others, or fulfilling societal expectations, such as teaching children or tending to the needs of our community. But what if the key to unlocking our deepest sense of purpose lies not in the world beyond us, but within the very core of our authentic selves?
I’ve come to believe that our purpose is indeed rooted in becoming more fully who we are – embracing our true values, interests, and passions as the foundation for finding meaning and direction in our lives. It’s not about forcing ourselves into someone else’s or society’s mould, but about the courageous journey of unravelling the hidden layers within.
The more you become authentically yourself the more you give others permission to do the same.
In our modern world of monoculture food and often homogenous values, where globalisation and Western consumerism are spreading across the globe – finding and expressing your true self is an act of rebellion and profound empowerment. What I love most about the idea of “your purpose being you” is that at its root lies the courageous journey toward your authentic self, your truest essence independent of external expectations.
You are fundamentally unique, you are 1 in 9 billion. Even me, as an identical mirror twin with 99.99% the same DNA as my twin Steve, I am completely unique too, as is Steve. The more we are brave enough to step into our individual light and shed the pervasive constricting values of Western capitalism, the more we in turn inspire others to follow suit. Just as a cold or flu is contagious, authenticity too has a viral quality – it inspires and spreads. We all want to feel free to be ourselves and sometimes seeing others being unapologetically themselves gives us permission in a sense. As Gandhi so eloquently stated, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” The more we embrace our authentic selves, the more we give others permission to do the same.
In a world that constantly pressures us to conform, to fit neatly into prescribed boxes, the act of self-discovery and self-expression becomes a quiet rebellion. When we have the courage to show up as our unvarnished selves, we create a ripple effect that can transform not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. This is the true power of purpose – not found in external accomplishments, but in the beautiful, messy, ever-evolving journey of becoming who we were born to be.
It starts with acceptance and love
This week, I caught myself acting from that habitual, automatic urge and habit to be productive – an impulse that is so often rooted in fear. In that moment, the line “your purpose is you” spontaneously popped into my head, serving as a potent reminder. Instead of mindlessly forging ahead, I noticed a shift; self-compassion, self-acceptance, and even self-love began to arise within me. It felt like I was momentarily breaking free from entrenched patterns, no longer losing myself in the frenetic need to stay busy for busy’s sake, to be a productive cog in the machine. Productivity and busy-ness is a habit I’ve sometimes excelled at, equating my worth with the outward markers of productivity and achievement.
But in that pivotal moment, I was able to pause, reconnect with my deeper self, and make a different choice. It was a small yet profound act of rebellion against the relentless pressure to conform to society’s narrow definitions of success. By choosing presence over productivity, I re-aligned with my deeper sense of who I am and what is important to me in the moment. This experience has reinforced my belief that our truest calling lies not in external accomplishments, but in the courageous journey of becoming more fully ourselves.
At the heart of living a purposeful life is the ability to fully accept and love yourself (last week’s column on ‘the wisdom of insecurity’ touched on this!). It is so easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of external validation, comparing ourselves to unrealistic standards and judging our worth based on others’ perceptions (previous Happier Column on Self worth). However, your unique purpose can only be found when you make peace with who you are at your core, flaws and all. Self-acceptance is not about complacency or becoming passive, but about creating a solid foundation from which you can grow and flourish. When you cultivate genuine self-love, you tap into your deepest desires, values, and unique gifts – the very building blocks of a fulfilling purpose.
Redefining success on your own terms
As identical twins and business owners, Steve and I are all too familiar with society’s often narrow definition of success, wealth, status and external achievements being touted as the hallmark of a life well lived. However, what if you took a step back and redefined success based on your deeper values and what really gives you meaning?
What if you peel back the layers of societies ‘success programming’ and instead start to determine what really floats your boat, what makes your spirit soar and awakens a child-like wonder in you? Your purpose being you means that it needs to be a genuine expression of who you are. In my thirties I very much bought into the success equals social status paradigm and reflecting back I was the personification of success equals external achievements and impressing others. Now that I am a decade older, 44, I have largely shed this belief and find true success is quality time with my family and friends and spending time on the farm in nature. I still see the old habitual programming of seeking external validation arise but I find I am less susceptible to it than before! Progress over perfection!
The most meaningful purpose is found not in external achievements, but in the courageous act of becoming more fully yourself. May you have the courage to shed societal expectations and tap into the wellspring of purpose that lies within. Your unique gifts and authentic expression are a profound gift to the world. The more you do this, the more you inspire others to do the same. Together lets create a ripple of authenticity!
Thank you for taking the time to read this week’s Happier column. I hope the idea of “your purpose is you” has resonated and inspired you to embrace a more authentic and purposeful path. I have written many previous Happier columns exploring topics like self-worth, feeling enough, and living with greater intention which you can read here.
All the best
Dave